Black and White and Pink All Over

Hey y'all!

Happy Humpday! October is turning up to be a sort of surreal month for me.  It's a little too personal to share with the whole wide world, but suffice it to say that I'm going through some growing pains as an epat and as a wife.  I haven't been participating much lately with the Axis of Ineptitude, mostly because I just haven't felt like "writing," and the writing I have been doing is all nail stuff.  The "nail stuff" has pretty much consumed the last couple months for me.  I've thrown myself in to creating as much content as possible and for a few weeks there, I was posting new content 6 times a week!  That's an incredible pace, which I cannot maintain, so I'm slowing it down and will be trying to regulate my posting to Monday-Wednesday-Friday-Saturday.  That should be 3 days of nail art during the week, and swatching on Saturday.  I think that's a liveable pace and shouldn't rattle me too badly.  Today, I'm tying in to two different prompts - one for the Pick-n-Mix challenge, and one for the Axis, so I'll start by showing you the nail art, and then I'll do some faffing at the end for those who want to read it.

As you can see, I tried to incorporate both themes into this nail art, although one of the themes was a writing prompt.  I used three colors for each gradient, and a confetti glitter.

L-R: elf Rosy Raisin, Berry Pink, and Passion Pink, Colors by Llarowe I'm Seeing Spots, Barry M Espresso, Chai, and Matt White

To fulfill the Pick-n-Mix challenge this week, the prompts were 3-color gradient and Pink, so I've started with a coat of Matt White on all my nails, because I knew the white would start my white-to-black gradients, and because I knew that my lightest pink color is super sheer, so I wanted to give it a solid base to build from.  On my ring finger, I sponged on the three elf colors (Passion Pink at the cuticle, Rosy Raisin at the tip, and Berry Pink in between), which look remarkably similar in the bottle, but you can see clearly on the nail that they are indeed different.  On my middle finger, I created a dotted gradient using those same colors and the large end of a dotting tool. 

On my thumb, index, and pinky, I sponged Matt White, Chai, and Espresso onto the nails using the same gradient technique.  Once all my gradients were in place, I applied 1-2 coats of I'm Seeing Spots on all nails and then sealed everything with SV.  I really like how the white microglitters disappear at the cuticle, and the black ones disappear at the tip.  Neat effect. 

So... as I said, this month has been a bit surreal so far.  On paper, it's all good - both cars are working perfectly and I'm certified as a nail tech.  I'm a happily married expat stay-at-home with nothing but time to paint my nails all day.  That's the black and white of it.  Unfortunately nothing is ever really black and white.

The car repairs were done, but it took two garages and a LOT of money to get it done.  For legal reasons I won't go into detail but suffice it to say that we were not satisfied with the work of the first garage and we're having to deal with that.

I did complete and get certified to do manicures, pedicures, and acrylic extensions - but let's be honest.  I had a 3-day course to learn all of that.  Would YOU be okay with going to someone whose only schooling was a 3-day course?  No.  Fact is, I need a lot more practice before I can start charging people money to do their nails.  However, since I'm a stay-at-home with a fairly neurotic little dog with separation anxiety, I don't really do a lot of meeting and greeting people around here except to do my shopping or occasionally get my hair cut.  That makes it really hard to find people upon whom I can practice.

The car issues were expensive, and in order to rebuild the savings that paid for everything, I need to start working.  The plan was for me to try to go to work as a nail tech - but as discussed, that isn't ready to happen YET.  I am going to have to get a job soon - even if it's only part-time.  I'm a bit terrified about that, because I know that many of my fellow nail bloggers over here have had troubles finding work, and the thought of being rejected over and over again (as is normal - I know this) fills me with huge anxiety.

This anxiety spills over into my relationship, because my husband is pretty much the only person I interact with in the physical work on a regular basis, and I've talked before about the problems that causes for me.  All in all, this is a time where it seems like everything is fine, but my twisted mind is pretty close to panic mode about 75% of the time.  Add on top of all this, I've struggled with my weight all my life, and I do a bit of comfort eating, as well as not being as physically active as I should be.  Of course this gives me a whole new set of worries that I'm about to balloon even further.

It's all just become very grey and icky and I hate it but I know that I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it.  That's the thing about black and white - they always make grey.  If there's a message to you all from inside my tiny little corner of neurosis, it's that the grey is rarely ever the end.  The end is when it all goes dark.  For most of us, we can do the work to turn things light again.  With a little persistence, patience, and luck, I'll be able to overcome the grey areas - hopefully you will as well.

An InLinkz Link-up

I know this post got a little... personal.  Always know that I appreciate each of you that take the time to read my ramblings.  Thank you for stopping by, and I'll see ya Friday with something a lot less messy!