You may have figured out by now that depression lives in my home. Without rehashing old news, I can confidently say that if anything good were to come out of the Robin Williams' tragedy, it's that it has put depression, anxiety, and mental illness as a whole on the brains and lips of people around the world. In an effort to keep that movement going, @nailsandpolkadots has organized today's hashtag of #fightforlightandlive, and nail bloggers (and hopefully nail enthusiasts) around the world are posting green manis for Depression Awareness. Of course, I felt the pull to participate.
This double-stamped look needed only three polishes, two stamping plates, and 3 gold teardrop-shaped studs.
|L-R: Sally Hansen S-teal A Base, ELF Green Machine, China Glaze White On White|
|MoYou London Explorer Collection - 22|
|MoYou London Tropical Collection - 05|
I decided to try double-stamping with two different greens over white instead of the original plan, which was to single-stamp in white over the green. I've highlighted the areas of the Explorer plate that I used on each nail in S-teal A Base, and then when it was dry, I stamped over it with the falling leaf/feather pattern in Green Machine. I added my studs to the other three nails and coated it all with SV.
I'm actually quite pleased with this result, even though it wasn't in the original plans. There's a bit of symbolism in here, of course, with the teardrop shapes. Ultimately I did the double-stamping to make the design a lot more chaotic and confused (yes, it's INTENTIONAL! LOL!), the way depression/anxiety can confuse and cloud a person's mind. For me, this is definitely one of the primary ways that the illness manifests - completely independent thoughts and/or ideas and/or feelings trying to happen all at the same time until finally my brain just shuts down and stops trying to make sense of any of it anymore. That's usually when I enter the completely numb feeling where nothing matters, and I don't have much of an opinion about anything. I know it's frustrating for the people who are trying to reach me - believe me when I say it's just as frustrating on the inside!
My mental illness is currently very active for a lot of reasons, but I want to assure you that I'm not in the deepest throes or in the darkest place of my life - and most importantly, I do everything in my power to hang on to glimmers of hope by forcing myself to find things for which I am grateful. Time and awareness of the issue over the years has given me a gauge line of when things are really bad and some tools to keep myself in check, but a lot of people suffer in silence and don't even realize that they need help or how to ask for it.
If you are currently suffering, or are worried about someone who might be considering self harm or suicide, please please PLEASE take a moment to read over this page about understanding and preventing suicide. If the warning signs are present, this list of international suicide hotlines is invaluable, no matter where you are in the world. Help is out there. You are not alone. There are options, and these people can help you see them.